I was talking last night w/ my acupuncture dude. He was mentioning that he's treated a lot of people with some serious chronic conditions (like mine was implied), and that he had noted that the level of progress that I'd attained had more to do with not losing hope than with the actual mechanics of what I was doing. What amused me was that I told him how my mother existed, and how I watched her die, and that I'd decided that I wasn't going down that road. "Once you've decided to truly live - not just exist, its just a matter of figuring out what works to make that happen!" I opined. You should have seen those eyebrows raise! "JUST -" he laughed.
It really is that simple. I've made a lot of changes, and probably have a lot more to make. I'll make them too. I'm not afraid of change, nor am I afraid of changing.
I've noticed that many people are afraid of change, and of changing. I believe that this is because they carry preconceptions about what those changes will bring, both within and outside of themselves within their lives. They believe that no one will like/love them. They believe that they are betraying someone that they love. They believe that they won't get that promotion. They believe a lot of things.
Well, I'll happily admit that I'm not that old, nor that wise, but I've learned a couple of things, and I'm going to share them.
Change does in fact hurt. It won't kill you, and often not changing will
If you are able to love yourself - truly love yourself - you will always be loved (and NO, I don't just mean by yourself!).
Those who would spurn you for improving yourself never really loved the true you. They probably didn't really know you either.
It is not a betrayal of someone who you love to be your best for them.
If improving yourself blocks that promotion, that job/position probably isn't healthy.
If you operate from a place of love, you cannot change so much that you lose everything - just the things that hold you back from being your best self.
Change hurts, but is a good hurt. Like the morning after yoga class. You hurt like hell, but still feel like you've done something really truly GOOD for yourself.
The key to change: Drop your preconceived ideas. ALL of them. Those conceptions about food - bury them. Those conceptions about exercise - destroy them. Those notions about what "Nice girls" or "good boys" or "Strong Men/Women" are - OBLITERATE THEM.
I mean it. Get rid of those preconceptions. They are what held me back for a long time, and the more I look around, the more I see preconceptions holding others back as well. The rules I live by are changing daily, but the one that I have held onto, the one that I honestly don't see going away is a simple measure - "Is this a loving act?". If so, then its okay. If not - I probably shouldn't do it. Even things that are good for one, if done in a spirit of punishment or guilt will fester and rot within oneself. You don't really need me to tell you this. You know it! Everyone of us that is born on this planet knows this. Yet we block this inherent knowledge with social mores, and POOF a preconception is born.
So, for those of you out there who bother to read this blog, and are suffering, please - Love yourself first and best. The rest will follow from there. The other thing: Don't stop loving yourself first and best.
May you find the ability within yourself to stop existing and start living.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Falling down
This week, despite working my ass off, I lost no weight. I know why this happened, its because I fell down on my eating.
I've discovered that losing weight - at least for me - is like a complicated (possibly Vulcan) chess game. Just when I think I'm getting ahead, I make a stupid move, or my body decides that its just happy with this work out routine/diet/whatever, and BLAMO - no weight loss.
This time, its all on me. I worked out hard, and then blew it right out of the water by eating badly for a couple of days. It drove home a very important lesson for me. I'm not "dieting". I'm changing the way I live my life, and a part of that is changing the way I eat. I fell back into an old eating pattern, and have rather quickly realized just why I stopped eating that way.
So, I fell down. I got up, dusted off, and I'm going to keep on the path that I've started down. Just gotta mind those potholes and step around them.
I've discovered that losing weight - at least for me - is like a complicated (possibly Vulcan) chess game. Just when I think I'm getting ahead, I make a stupid move, or my body decides that its just happy with this work out routine/diet/whatever, and BLAMO - no weight loss.
This time, its all on me. I worked out hard, and then blew it right out of the water by eating badly for a couple of days. It drove home a very important lesson for me. I'm not "dieting". I'm changing the way I live my life, and a part of that is changing the way I eat. I fell back into an old eating pattern, and have rather quickly realized just why I stopped eating that way.
So, I fell down. I got up, dusted off, and I'm going to keep on the path that I've started down. Just gotta mind those potholes and step around them.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Yoga - the relaxing torturer
Okay, that might have been a bit overly dramatic.
Last night I went to my yoga class. I came out of it feeling relaxed and energetic.
This morning, I woke up feeling like someone had taken a baseball bat to my midsection.
Gentle they said.
Theraputic they said.
Relaxing they said.
HOLY CRAP!!
I know I'm out of shape. REALLY out of shape. I'm getting in better shape, and yoga is part of that process. I'm going to stick with this, but holy crapasaurus Batman, this is ouchy today!
I've spent most of today reminding myself to keep breathing deeply and evenly. The only thing I did to accomodate this was to skip my morning 15 min of aerobic activity (exercise bike), the rest of my work out routine is rather firmly in place, and has been being executed. . .just a little more slowly.
That's the key I'm told. You keep going. If it aches, you keep going. When its sharp pain, you get it looked at and then keep going, but you keep going.
I'm hittin' the rough patches now. They hurt.
Last night I went to my yoga class. I came out of it feeling relaxed and energetic.
This morning, I woke up feeling like someone had taken a baseball bat to my midsection.
Gentle they said.
Theraputic they said.
Relaxing they said.
HOLY CRAP!!
I know I'm out of shape. REALLY out of shape. I'm getting in better shape, and yoga is part of that process. I'm going to stick with this, but holy crapasaurus Batman, this is ouchy today!
I've spent most of today reminding myself to keep breathing deeply and evenly. The only thing I did to accomodate this was to skip my morning 15 min of aerobic activity (exercise bike), the rest of my work out routine is rather firmly in place, and has been being executed. . .just a little more slowly.
That's the key I'm told. You keep going. If it aches, you keep going. When its sharp pain, you get it looked at and then keep going, but you keep going.
I'm hittin' the rough patches now. They hurt.
Friday, April 29, 2011
"Today, I will be kind to myself"
From Dictionary.com
kind
1 /kaɪnd/
–adjective, -er, -est.
1. of a good or benevolent nature or disposition, as a person: a kind and loving person.
2. having, showing, or proceeding from benevolence: kind words.
3. indulgent, considerate, or helpful; humane (often followed by to ): to be kind to animals.
New Testament
Ephesians 4:32 (New International Version)
32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Old Testament
Micah 6:8 (New International Version)
8 He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.
Quran
"And what will explain to you what the steep path is? It is the freeing of a (slave) from bondage; or the giving of food in a day of famine to an orphan relative, or to a needy in distress. Then will he be of those who believe, enjoin fortitude and encourage kindness and compassion." Chapter 90, Verses 12-1
The seventh restraint, Compassion (daya) - conquering callous, cruel and insensitive feelings toward all beings. (Hinduism)
Practice compassion, conquering callous, cruel and insensitive feelings toward all beings. See god everywhere. Be kind to people, animals, plants and the Earth itself. Forgive those who apologize and show true remorse. Foster sympathy for others’ needs and suffering. Honor and assist those who are weak, impoverished, aged or in pain. Oppose family abuse and other cruelties.
From the Charge of the Goddess
Let my worship be within the heart that rejoiceth, for behold: all acts of love and pleasure are my rituals. And therefore let there be beauty and strength, power and compassion, honour and humility, mirth and reverence within you.
And thou who thinkest to seek for me, know thy seeking and yearning shall avail thee not, unless thou know this mystery: that if that which thou seekest thou findest not within thee, thou wilt never find it without thee.
Wikipedia (because I'm getting sick of cutting & pasting stuff)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kindness
Every morning in my yoga dvd (props here to Suzanne Deason & GAIAM for producing this most awesome tool for the cream-puffs of the world of which I am one!) Suzanne Deason asks her participants over the digital air waves to "make one simple promise to yourself. Today I will promise to. . .".
From the first day of doing this Yoga practice, I have (in my head) said "Today, I will be kind to myself.".
I was surprised at first how hard it was. Surely, if we are able to be kind to ANYONE it should be ourselves! WRONG. Oh so wrong.
In my poking around today, I discovered that there aren't too many religions that DON'T have kindness/compassion as a holy mandate. So why do we as a modern society have such a hard time being kind? I think its because we forget to be kind to ourselves. I know I did. I've spent a long time - years in fact - hurting myself. I was angry and in pain (both physical and emotional/mental) and was lashing out. Unfortunately, I'm the easiest target I can hit. This is sadly true of everyone on the planet. We hurt ourselves first and worst for the most part. To compound this horror, every action we take that hurts another also hurts our self.
Stop for one moment, please and think about this. First you are hurt. This makes you angry and you hurt yourself, compounding your own pain. THEN you hurt someone else, hoping to pass the energetic buck, and wind up hurting both of you. Because of this cycle, people, cities and nations have fallen. We destroy ourselves and our world because of it.
Lack of kindness is pandemic, and the sad thing is that we can stop it cold. Yet we don't. Why? I believe its because we are a) not really taught what kindness IS, and b) not taught to be kind to our self.
Self-kindness is not overindulgence. Quite the opposite. Its saying "I'm not going to eat that cookie/say that word/believe that hurtful person's criticism/lay in bed instead of exercising/ect.". Self-kindness is striving for one's best, but being forgiving and loving to one's self when we don't actualize it the manner we thought we would. Sometimes its saying up late and exercising when you're exhausted, and other times its going to bed w/o exercising after a long, chaos ridden day when you need rest more than anything else.
Its hard, but what I'm learning since I started down this path of being kind to myself is simply that the more I am TRULY kind to myself, the more kindness I have to give others.
Imagine for one moment how that could affect the world we live in? If everyone started first being kind to him or her self, that kindness would grow. Soon it wouldn't be able to help but spill over on to others!
What wars could we stop?
What famines could we prevent?
What diseases could we cure or eliminate all together?
The possibilities are endless.
So, today I will not ask you to perform random acts of kindness. Please for the sake of yourself and the world, be kind to yourself? No matter what form that genuine kindness takes, please do it?
We could change the very world.
kind
1 /kaɪnd/
–adjective, -er, -est.
1. of a good or benevolent nature or disposition, as a person: a kind and loving person.
2. having, showing, or proceeding from benevolence: kind words.
3. indulgent, considerate, or helpful; humane (often followed by to ): to be kind to animals.
New Testament
Ephesians 4:32 (New International Version)
32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Old Testament
Micah 6:8 (New International Version)
8 He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.
Quran
"And what will explain to you what the steep path is? It is the freeing of a (slave) from bondage; or the giving of food in a day of famine to an orphan relative, or to a needy in distress. Then will he be of those who believe, enjoin fortitude and encourage kindness and compassion." Chapter 90, Verses 12-1
The seventh restraint, Compassion (daya) - conquering callous, cruel and insensitive feelings toward all beings. (Hinduism)
Practice compassion, conquering callous, cruel and insensitive feelings toward all beings. See god everywhere. Be kind to people, animals, plants and the Earth itself. Forgive those who apologize and show true remorse. Foster sympathy for others’ needs and suffering. Honor and assist those who are weak, impoverished, aged or in pain. Oppose family abuse and other cruelties.
From the Charge of the Goddess
Let my worship be within the heart that rejoiceth, for behold: all acts of love and pleasure are my rituals. And therefore let there be beauty and strength, power and compassion, honour and humility, mirth and reverence within you.
And thou who thinkest to seek for me, know thy seeking and yearning shall avail thee not, unless thou know this mystery: that if that which thou seekest thou findest not within thee, thou wilt never find it without thee.
Wikipedia (because I'm getting sick of cutting & pasting stuff)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kindness
Every morning in my yoga dvd (props here to Suzanne Deason & GAIAM for producing this most awesome tool for the cream-puffs of the world of which I am one!) Suzanne Deason asks her participants over the digital air waves to "make one simple promise to yourself. Today I will promise to. . .".
From the first day of doing this Yoga practice, I have (in my head) said "Today, I will be kind to myself.".
I was surprised at first how hard it was. Surely, if we are able to be kind to ANYONE it should be ourselves! WRONG. Oh so wrong.
In my poking around today, I discovered that there aren't too many religions that DON'T have kindness/compassion as a holy mandate. So why do we as a modern society have such a hard time being kind? I think its because we forget to be kind to ourselves. I know I did. I've spent a long time - years in fact - hurting myself. I was angry and in pain (both physical and emotional/mental) and was lashing out. Unfortunately, I'm the easiest target I can hit. This is sadly true of everyone on the planet. We hurt ourselves first and worst for the most part. To compound this horror, every action we take that hurts another also hurts our self.
Stop for one moment, please and think about this. First you are hurt. This makes you angry and you hurt yourself, compounding your own pain. THEN you hurt someone else, hoping to pass the energetic buck, and wind up hurting both of you. Because of this cycle, people, cities and nations have fallen. We destroy ourselves and our world because of it.
Lack of kindness is pandemic, and the sad thing is that we can stop it cold. Yet we don't. Why? I believe its because we are a) not really taught what kindness IS, and b) not taught to be kind to our self.
Self-kindness is not overindulgence. Quite the opposite. Its saying "I'm not going to eat that cookie/say that word/believe that hurtful person's criticism/lay in bed instead of exercising/ect.". Self-kindness is striving for one's best, but being forgiving and loving to one's self when we don't actualize it the manner we thought we would. Sometimes its saying up late and exercising when you're exhausted, and other times its going to bed w/o exercising after a long, chaos ridden day when you need rest more than anything else.
Its hard, but what I'm learning since I started down this path of being kind to myself is simply that the more I am TRULY kind to myself, the more kindness I have to give others.
Imagine for one moment how that could affect the world we live in? If everyone started first being kind to him or her self, that kindness would grow. Soon it wouldn't be able to help but spill over on to others!
What wars could we stop?
What famines could we prevent?
What diseases could we cure or eliminate all together?
The possibilities are endless.
So, today I will not ask you to perform random acts of kindness. Please for the sake of yourself and the world, be kind to yourself? No matter what form that genuine kindness takes, please do it?
We could change the very world.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Changes
"Ch-ch-ch-changes, Turn and face the strain".
Bowie has NO IDEA.
I'm going through a lot of changes lately. I've given up coffee, mammalian meat, most of the dairy, cut back on meat in general in a BIG way, and am exercising more than I've done in a long time. That's just the external. There's a lot more changing inside my head.
So, what does this mean?
Blood Sugar
My blood sugar has been FANTABULOUS!! My CGM is almost a flat line and its in the 70-90 range for most of that. This is really fantastic. Its also new territory for me.
Energy
I have some! This is something that I'd totally forgotten what it felt like. As long as I can remember, I've had to do what I do by force of will alone. Not a fun way to live life, and in my opinion (upon reflection) I wasn't really living. I was existing. I don't recommend that. If you're there, try doing whatever it is that you have to do to live - its awesome!
Temperature
For the first time EVER (that I remember) I get warm. REALLY WARM. I can't wait to lose this weight, because for the first time I'm feeling it. My circulation has improved to the point where I get hot, and I'm so not enjoying that sticky, sweaty feeling at all. However, I'd rather have that than need a sweater in August (in FL no less!). Cold sucks worse.
Poop
Yup, I'm going there! I jokingly said recently that if I eat any more fiber, I'm gonna need an extra stomach. Fiber is great fro you. Being largely indigestible, it acts like a bottle scrubber for the human body. The more fiber you eat, the more you poop. I'm eating a LOT of fiber - and that's all I'm gonna say about that. (and you were worried!).
Acne
All through high school, I had GOOD skin. Yeah, I had the occasional zit at that time of the month, but hey, I was still doing pretty darned good. Right now, my face looks like a 17 year old boys who works in a fast food joint. Eww. I keep telling myself that this too shall pass. One of these days, either it will, or I'll believe it.
Sleep
I'm SLEEPING! I'm a SLEEPER! Being one of a long line (at least 4 generations that I know of) of insomniac women, I'm counting this as possibly the greatest of all the changes. I hit the pillow at 10pm, and don't wake until its time to pee at 4am. For me, that's a fantastic night of sleep. Especially since right after peeing, I hop back into bed for another couple of hours and actually SLEEP instead of lying there staring at the dark.
Mood
Despite the poop and the acne, I'm in a great mood most days! I wake up cheerful, and go about my day that way for the most part. Even work stress is reduced. I have more objectivity about other people's moods, and don't take them as personally as I used to. I don't know why that should be the case, but it is.
So, lots of changes Some good, some not so wonderful, but for the most part, all in a positive direction.
I can't help but wonder what will change next?
Bowie has NO IDEA.
I'm going through a lot of changes lately. I've given up coffee, mammalian meat, most of the dairy, cut back on meat in general in a BIG way, and am exercising more than I've done in a long time. That's just the external. There's a lot more changing inside my head.
So, what does this mean?
Blood Sugar
My blood sugar has been FANTABULOUS!! My CGM is almost a flat line and its in the 70-90 range for most of that. This is really fantastic. Its also new territory for me.
Energy
I have some! This is something that I'd totally forgotten what it felt like. As long as I can remember, I've had to do what I do by force of will alone. Not a fun way to live life, and in my opinion (upon reflection) I wasn't really living. I was existing. I don't recommend that. If you're there, try doing whatever it is that you have to do to live - its awesome!
Temperature
For the first time EVER (that I remember) I get warm. REALLY WARM. I can't wait to lose this weight, because for the first time I'm feeling it. My circulation has improved to the point where I get hot, and I'm so not enjoying that sticky, sweaty feeling at all. However, I'd rather have that than need a sweater in August (in FL no less!). Cold sucks worse.
Poop
Yup, I'm going there! I jokingly said recently that if I eat any more fiber, I'm gonna need an extra stomach. Fiber is great fro you. Being largely indigestible, it acts like a bottle scrubber for the human body. The more fiber you eat, the more you poop. I'm eating a LOT of fiber - and that's all I'm gonna say about that. (and you were worried!).
Acne
All through high school, I had GOOD skin. Yeah, I had the occasional zit at that time of the month, but hey, I was still doing pretty darned good. Right now, my face looks like a 17 year old boys who works in a fast food joint. Eww. I keep telling myself that this too shall pass. One of these days, either it will, or I'll believe it.
Sleep
I'm SLEEPING! I'm a SLEEPER! Being one of a long line (at least 4 generations that I know of) of insomniac women, I'm counting this as possibly the greatest of all the changes. I hit the pillow at 10pm, and don't wake until its time to pee at 4am. For me, that's a fantastic night of sleep. Especially since right after peeing, I hop back into bed for another couple of hours and actually SLEEP instead of lying there staring at the dark.
Mood
Despite the poop and the acne, I'm in a great mood most days! I wake up cheerful, and go about my day that way for the most part. Even work stress is reduced. I have more objectivity about other people's moods, and don't take them as personally as I used to. I don't know why that should be the case, but it is.
So, lots of changes Some good, some not so wonderful, but for the most part, all in a positive direction.
I can't help but wonder what will change next?
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
The Balance Act
So, Progress! I lost 4lbs. this week, making it a whopping 15lbs since I was seen at JH Transplant Center.
This is good. This is progress.
Now, on to The Balance Act.
Losing weight is hard, no matter what's going on in your body. Losing weight when you're diabetic is doubly so (Hey, that's what multipledoctors have told me!).
We all know the basic principles for weight loss. Eat right, exercise and you'll lose weight, right? Right! Eating right when you're diabetic just plain makes sense. I'm not going to tell you what eating right is here. For you & your needs it may be VERY different from what eating right is for me. So, talk to your doctors and nutritionists, and figure that one out for you & your body's needs.
Eating right, I've got down. Its the exercise that's the stumbling block for me.
First, I'm fighting decades old programming. My mother was TERRIFIED that my sugar would drop too low and I'd die. Her fear ruled both of us to the point where I have my own happy little version of this. It makes the second problem much more complicated.
The second problem - scheduling. Everyone's body has a rhythm. Your body is programed to secrete certain hormones and create glucose at certain times of the day based on your needs. Diabetics are a bit off in this dept.. We don't always have that going on. So, we fake it with insulin and rigorous scheduling. We get up and eat at the same times. This works GREAT - until you start changing things. Then you start dealing with lows and then highs that are rebounds from the lows and you end up with a big furball.
My yoga class (which incidentally is today - hence this post) is inconveniently timed. Why didn't I just pick a different class, you wonder? Well, I have to pay the rent too! This was the most convenient to my life - if not to my daily blood sugar schedule. So, from now on on Tuesdays, since I can't rearrange my work schedule, I have to rearrange my diet. I have to change the times I eat and what I eat, and even the amounts that I eat of what I eat!
The kicker for me: Its all experimental. I don't KNOW what works yet. I'm still figuring that one out. Its not a fun kind of experiment. For those of you who don't know, low blood sugar SUCKS. I can remember having a low, and having my parents shoving Life Saver after Life Saver into my mouth and a friend muttering "Geez, wish I had low blood sugar!". No, you don't. First, I get this tinny taste in my mouth. Then I start getting prickles all over my body. Next comes the lack of fine motor control as my body starts shaking. I don't really know what comes next first hand, but loved ones have told me that I start getting incoherent and confused after that - I don't remember that. I'm lucky and have only passed out once in over 20 years of diabetes (I'm knocking on wood all over the place right now!).
That sound like fun to YOU? Its not to me.
That in a nutshell is the biggest obstacle for me - exercising while keeping my blood sugar from bottoming out. I'm getting there, slowly but surely.
Four pounds worth in fact :D
This is good. This is progress.
Now, on to The Balance Act.
Losing weight is hard, no matter what's going on in your body. Losing weight when you're diabetic is doubly so (Hey, that's what multipledoctors have told me!).
We all know the basic principles for weight loss. Eat right, exercise and you'll lose weight, right? Right! Eating right when you're diabetic just plain makes sense. I'm not going to tell you what eating right is here. For you & your needs it may be VERY different from what eating right is for me. So, talk to your doctors and nutritionists, and figure that one out for you & your body's needs.
Eating right, I've got down. Its the exercise that's the stumbling block for me.
First, I'm fighting decades old programming. My mother was TERRIFIED that my sugar would drop too low and I'd die. Her fear ruled both of us to the point where I have my own happy little version of this. It makes the second problem much more complicated.
The second problem - scheduling. Everyone's body has a rhythm. Your body is programed to secrete certain hormones and create glucose at certain times of the day based on your needs. Diabetics are a bit off in this dept.. We don't always have that going on. So, we fake it with insulin and rigorous scheduling. We get up and eat at the same times. This works GREAT - until you start changing things. Then you start dealing with lows and then highs that are rebounds from the lows and you end up with a big furball.
My yoga class (which incidentally is today - hence this post) is inconveniently timed. Why didn't I just pick a different class, you wonder? Well, I have to pay the rent too! This was the most convenient to my life - if not to my daily blood sugar schedule. So, from now on on Tuesdays, since I can't rearrange my work schedule, I have to rearrange my diet. I have to change the times I eat and what I eat, and even the amounts that I eat of what I eat!
The kicker for me: Its all experimental. I don't KNOW what works yet. I'm still figuring that one out. Its not a fun kind of experiment. For those of you who don't know, low blood sugar SUCKS. I can remember having a low, and having my parents shoving Life Saver after Life Saver into my mouth and a friend muttering "Geez, wish I had low blood sugar!". No, you don't. First, I get this tinny taste in my mouth. Then I start getting prickles all over my body. Next comes the lack of fine motor control as my body starts shaking. I don't really know what comes next first hand, but loved ones have told me that I start getting incoherent and confused after that - I don't remember that. I'm lucky and have only passed out once in over 20 years of diabetes (I'm knocking on wood all over the place right now!).
That sound like fun to YOU? Its not to me.
That in a nutshell is the biggest obstacle for me - exercising while keeping my blood sugar from bottoming out. I'm getting there, slowly but surely.
Four pounds worth in fact :D
Friday, April 22, 2011
Being your own Genral Contractor of YOU.
No, this post is NOT about constructing the perfect body - or house.
Its about juggling your doctors.
Right now, I'm in the process of juggling a whole SLEW of medical practitioners. I have a GP (Who is about to be fired and replaced - more on that in a moment). I have an endocrinologist, a nephrologist, an acupuncturist, a dentist, two eye doctors, and . . .I think that might be all.
No one with any kind of chronic complaint can expect these people to talk to each other. These are BUSY people. In order to break even, most medical professionals in our current system have to see a patient EVERY 15 MINUTES during their practicing hours. That's a lot of people and a lot of rushing. Honestly, I'm amazed that there aren't more mistakes! Not to mention burnout. The point here is that these peopel are BUSY, and they have their hands full treating YOU. Most doctors simply lack the time necessary to discuss their patients in depth with other medical professionals.
So, what does this mean for someone juggling 3 or more of these unfortunates? Well, it means its time to get organized and coordinate your own health care, chickies!
Here's what I do:
I have a file. Its an expandable file folder, and I have a manila folder for each maedical professional in it. After each visit, I ask for a copy of lab work, and any other relevant information that another doctor might be interested in. That goes into the file. At the next doctor's appointment, out it comes, and I show it to THAT doctor/practitioner, along with a current (and for me ever evolving) list of current medications, supplements, ect. that I'm currently taking.
That's it. Its not hard, but it does require some forethought and planning. Its like being your own general contractor of your health care, which if you think about it makes sense. Its YOUR body, and YOUR health.
The best thing about this is it becomes VERY easy to spot the good doctors. The good doctors are THRILLED when you present this information, because it saves them time and energy. The not so good ones get annoyed. I'm all about finding good doctors. Seriously, this is vitally important. I'm about to fire my general practitioner because his office doesn't answer the phone or return message. I've not had to go through 2 UTIs and 1 minor wound infection through a local urgent care office because of this. Dude - YOUR OUT! This is the other half - if you find a doctor who won't listen to you, or won't pay attention to what the other medical professionals in your life are doing - get rid of them. You owe that person NOTHING. You are paying for a service, and there are a LOT of other doctors out there happy for the business. I've taken this in the past to refusing to see a particular doctor at a practice because he creaped me out. There is nothing wrong with this. ITS YOUR BODY THEY ARE WORKING ON - you have the right to say who gets to go there, dude! I don't like all of my doctors - in point of fact, I don't like my endocrinologist as a person, but she is a good doctor and ultimately has my best in mind. I trust all of them (GP excepted).
If you have to fire a doctor, do it. Then ask around. Talk to friends and family. Call your other doctors and talk to their nurses (very busy people, but EXTREMELY knowledgeable), they usually have a list of good recommendations. If the first one doesn't work, keep plugging. The most important thing to any healing is trust, and being able to trust your doctors is mandatory.
Happy Healing Everyone!
Its about juggling your doctors.
Right now, I'm in the process of juggling a whole SLEW of medical practitioners. I have a GP (Who is about to be fired and replaced - more on that in a moment). I have an endocrinologist, a nephrologist, an acupuncturist, a dentist, two eye doctors, and . . .I think that might be all.
No one with any kind of chronic complaint can expect these people to talk to each other. These are BUSY people. In order to break even, most medical professionals in our current system have to see a patient EVERY 15 MINUTES during their practicing hours. That's a lot of people and a lot of rushing. Honestly, I'm amazed that there aren't more mistakes! Not to mention burnout. The point here is that these peopel are BUSY, and they have their hands full treating YOU. Most doctors simply lack the time necessary to discuss their patients in depth with other medical professionals.
So, what does this mean for someone juggling 3 or more of these unfortunates? Well, it means its time to get organized and coordinate your own health care, chickies!
Here's what I do:
I have a file. Its an expandable file folder, and I have a manila folder for each maedical professional in it. After each visit, I ask for a copy of lab work, and any other relevant information that another doctor might be interested in. That goes into the file. At the next doctor's appointment, out it comes, and I show it to THAT doctor/practitioner, along with a current (and for me ever evolving) list of current medications, supplements, ect. that I'm currently taking.
That's it. Its not hard, but it does require some forethought and planning. Its like being your own general contractor of your health care, which if you think about it makes sense. Its YOUR body, and YOUR health.
The best thing about this is it becomes VERY easy to spot the good doctors. The good doctors are THRILLED when you present this information, because it saves them time and energy. The not so good ones get annoyed. I'm all about finding good doctors. Seriously, this is vitally important. I'm about to fire my general practitioner because his office doesn't answer the phone or return message. I've not had to go through 2 UTIs and 1 minor wound infection through a local urgent care office because of this. Dude - YOUR OUT! This is the other half - if you find a doctor who won't listen to you, or won't pay attention to what the other medical professionals in your life are doing - get rid of them. You owe that person NOTHING. You are paying for a service, and there are a LOT of other doctors out there happy for the business. I've taken this in the past to refusing to see a particular doctor at a practice because he creaped me out. There is nothing wrong with this. ITS YOUR BODY THEY ARE WORKING ON - you have the right to say who gets to go there, dude! I don't like all of my doctors - in point of fact, I don't like my endocrinologist as a person, but she is a good doctor and ultimately has my best in mind. I trust all of them (GP excepted).
If you have to fire a doctor, do it. Then ask around. Talk to friends and family. Call your other doctors and talk to their nurses (very busy people, but EXTREMELY knowledgeable), they usually have a list of good recommendations. If the first one doesn't work, keep plugging. The most important thing to any healing is trust, and being able to trust your doctors is mandatory.
Happy Healing Everyone!
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Hey, its been a whle!
I'm back! I'd like to say I've been busy working out and doing all the right things. Well, I have but not outwardly.
I've tried to lose weight before - and failed miserably. I've lost weight repeatedly, only to put it back on eventually with interest. Seriously, one doesn't get to my weight without having at least tried to lose some. Its not like I sit there eating bon-bons (though there was the occasional cookie over the years), and watching soap operas. So, what happened?
What happened, I'm discovering was that I didn't fix the problems. I dieted, I exercised and eventually weight came off. Then the emotional problems that I'd been covering up would surface, and BAM I'd hit the fridge.
No, I have not recently joined OA. I'm sure there are some groups with that organization that are just fine, but the one time I looked into it, those women were food NAZIS - seriously. No thanks.
What I have done is started listening to myself. I've started paying attention to why I was screaming at myself.
First, I went to acupuncture. Honestly, I didn't hold out much hope for it, but figured why the heck not? The interesting thing that I found was that lying there having to hold still and be quiet, I had to hear the chatter in my head. THAT was a new one. I've spent a long time - most of my life in fact - studiously NOT listening to the chatter in my head.
I won't bore you with the details, but a lot of what I wasn't listening to were old hurts that weren't ever resolved. Some of it was so old that the people involved aren't able to be accessed w/o a seance. Some of it was pretty new. So, lying there stuck with about 10 pins in my flesh and not really able to move, I had a discussion with myself. It went kinda like this:
Conscious Self; "So, what are you screaming at me about? Please use little words."
Subconscious: "I. HURT."
Conscious Self: "Well, what's hurting?"
Subconscious Self: -insert laundry list of way too personal issues to hit the tubes HERE -
Conscious Self:"WOW. Whoa, dude, that sucks. What can I do about this?"
Subconscious Self: ::birds twittering, crickets chirping:: "I don't know. That's why I've been screaming."
Conscious Self: "Well, I can try to help, but you have to stop screaming. I'm going to have to think about this, and I can't do that when you're screaming at me."
Subconscious Self: (reluctantly)"Okay, I guess. Hurry, though."
Then my Acupuncture Dude came in (he likes that I call him that btw), and I had to stop having this particular conversation with myself. I did talk to him a bit though, and he said this was great progress.
So, I went home, and thought about it. What I came to - eventuality - was that I was just calling the past the past and ignoring it. I hadn't resolved anything, I just shrugged, gave it a mental "oh well" and buried it. The problem was, I buried it in me. It stayed there too, and it festered. That's icky. Just plain icky.
So, I'm digging up some old yucky stuff, discussing it with myself, and getting rid of it.
What this looks like on the outside is simple. I'm going to acupuncture, I've begun taking an actual yoga class, and I'm paying more attention to what I feel like when I eat something. As far as the food goes, it stays if it feels okay to eat and doesn't mess up my blood sugar. If it feels icky in my stomach or raises my blood sugar, its outta here! So far what's made the cut - coffee, mammal meat, milk, more than 1oz of cheese/day. I'm also regularly getting aerobic exercise in the form of my handy dandy free exercise bike (FYI, I hate exercise bikes, but they do the job, and are easily obtainable for little or no cost on places like Free-cycle and Craig's list. In my case, someone I work with was getting rid of one for free, and generously drove it to my house. Its a nice one too!).
So, that's it. I'm changing my eating habits according to what works for me, making healthy choices, and I'm exercising. I'm also finally shoveling out my emotional closet. DUDES - you do NOT want the details. This feels right though, and the numbers are proving it. My last nephrologist visit gave me the good news that my potassium levels are back to normal. Which means that I can now eat veggies again, and can even have the VERY occasional orange.
Which, incidentally, I'm going to go do right now. :D
I've tried to lose weight before - and failed miserably. I've lost weight repeatedly, only to put it back on eventually with interest. Seriously, one doesn't get to my weight without having at least tried to lose some. Its not like I sit there eating bon-bons (though there was the occasional cookie over the years), and watching soap operas. So, what happened?
What happened, I'm discovering was that I didn't fix the problems. I dieted, I exercised and eventually weight came off. Then the emotional problems that I'd been covering up would surface, and BAM I'd hit the fridge.
No, I have not recently joined OA. I'm sure there are some groups with that organization that are just fine, but the one time I looked into it, those women were food NAZIS - seriously. No thanks.
What I have done is started listening to myself. I've started paying attention to why I was screaming at myself.
First, I went to acupuncture. Honestly, I didn't hold out much hope for it, but figured why the heck not? The interesting thing that I found was that lying there having to hold still and be quiet, I had to hear the chatter in my head. THAT was a new one. I've spent a long time - most of my life in fact - studiously NOT listening to the chatter in my head.
I won't bore you with the details, but a lot of what I wasn't listening to were old hurts that weren't ever resolved. Some of it was so old that the people involved aren't able to be accessed w/o a seance. Some of it was pretty new. So, lying there stuck with about 10 pins in my flesh and not really able to move, I had a discussion with myself. It went kinda like this:
Conscious Self; "So, what are you screaming at me about? Please use little words."
Subconscious: "I. HURT."
Conscious Self: "Well, what's hurting?"
Subconscious Self: -insert laundry list of way too personal issues to hit the tubes HERE -
Conscious Self:"WOW. Whoa, dude, that sucks. What can I do about this?"
Subconscious Self: ::birds twittering, crickets chirping:: "I don't know. That's why I've been screaming."
Conscious Self: "Well, I can try to help, but you have to stop screaming. I'm going to have to think about this, and I can't do that when you're screaming at me."
Subconscious Self: (reluctantly)"Okay, I guess. Hurry, though."
Then my Acupuncture Dude came in (he likes that I call him that btw), and I had to stop having this particular conversation with myself. I did talk to him a bit though, and he said this was great progress.
So, I went home, and thought about it. What I came to - eventuality - was that I was just calling the past the past and ignoring it. I hadn't resolved anything, I just shrugged, gave it a mental "oh well" and buried it. The problem was, I buried it in me. It stayed there too, and it festered. That's icky. Just plain icky.
So, I'm digging up some old yucky stuff, discussing it with myself, and getting rid of it.
What this looks like on the outside is simple. I'm going to acupuncture, I've begun taking an actual yoga class, and I'm paying more attention to what I feel like when I eat something. As far as the food goes, it stays if it feels okay to eat and doesn't mess up my blood sugar. If it feels icky in my stomach or raises my blood sugar, its outta here! So far what's made the cut - coffee, mammal meat, milk, more than 1oz of cheese/day. I'm also regularly getting aerobic exercise in the form of my handy dandy free exercise bike (FYI, I hate exercise bikes, but they do the job, and are easily obtainable for little or no cost on places like Free-cycle and Craig's list. In my case, someone I work with was getting rid of one for free, and generously drove it to my house. Its a nice one too!).
So, that's it. I'm changing my eating habits according to what works for me, making healthy choices, and I'm exercising. I'm also finally shoveling out my emotional closet. DUDES - you do NOT want the details. This feels right though, and the numbers are proving it. My last nephrologist visit gave me the good news that my potassium levels are back to normal. Which means that I can now eat veggies again, and can even have the VERY occasional orange.
Which, incidentally, I'm going to go do right now. :D
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